Buyer love letters are a highly debated topic in real estate due to the significant risk of Fair Housing Act violations. While the intent might be to make an offer stand out, they often inadvertently reveal information about protected characteristics, which could lead to claims of discrimination if the seller's decision is influenced by these personal details rather than objective offer terms.

The National Association of REALTORS® (NAR) generally discourages buyer love letters due to these risks. Some states, like Oregon, have even attempted to ban them (though the Oregon law was challenged and is not currently enforced).

As a buyer, it's crucial to understand these risks and for your agent to advise you on how to avoid them. Here's a list of rules for buyers to follow to avoid Fair Housing violations when attempting to communicate with a seller:

The Golden Rule: Focus SOLELY on the Property and the Offer's Merits.

Avoid including any information that reveals or hints at the following Fair Housing Act Protected Classes (Federal Law, State and Local laws may add more):

1. Race or Color:
   
   

• AVOID: Photos of yourself, your family, or friends. Describing your ethnic background.

• ACCEPTABLE: "We love the natural light in the living room."

2. Religion:
   
   

• AVOID: Mentioning religious holidays you celebrate, your church, or religious symbols.

• ACCEPTABLE: "The quiet street provides a peaceful environment."

3. Sex (including sexual orientation and gender identity):
   
   

• AVOID: Referring to your spouse as "my husband" or "my wife" if it reveals gender identity or sexual orientation. Using pronouns that clearly identify your gender or the gender of your family members in a way that is not relevant to the property.

• ACCEPTABLE: "We are excited about making this house our home." (Use "we" or "my partner" if necessary, without specifying gender).

4. National Origin:
   
   

• AVOID: Discussing your heritage, where you grew up (if it implies national origin), or cultural traditions.

• ACCEPTABLE: "The spacious kitchen is perfect for entertaining."

5. Familial Status (presence of children under 18, pregnancy, or in the process of securing custody):
   
   

• AVOID: Photos of children, mentioning plans for children, talking about schools, playgrounds, nurseries, or needing a yard for kids/pets.

• ACCEPTABLE: "The backyard offers great potential for outdoor activities." or "We appreciate the proximity to local amenities." (Keep it general).

6. Disability:
   
   

• AVOID: Discussing disabilities of household members, needing specific accessibility features due to a disability, or referring to service animals.

• ACCEPTABLE: "The single-level layout is very appealing."

General Best Practices for Buyers to Avoid Violations:

• No Photos or Videos: Absolutely avoid including any photos or videos of yourself, your family, friends, or pets. Visuals instantly reveal protected characteristics.

• Keep it Short and to the Point: A shorter letter is less likely to accidentally reveal protected information.

• Focus on the House's Features: Express your appreciation for specific features of the property (e.g., "We love the built-in bookshelves," "The garden is stunning," "The historic charm of this home is captivating").

• Discuss the Neighborhood (Objectively): You can mention appreciation for the neighborhood's general characteristics (e.g., "We appreciate the walkable streets," "The mature trees in the area are beautiful"), but avoid discussing specific demographics or community groups.

• Reiterate Offer Strengths: Briefly mention why your offer is strong (e.g., "We have a strong pre-approval," "Our flexible closing date").

• Express General Excitement: "We are so excited about the possibility of this being our next home."

• Consult Your Agent: Your real estate agent should be well-versed in Fair Housing laws and guide you on what is appropriate and what should be avoided. Many agents will strongly advise against writing "love letters" at all due to the inherent risks.

• Understand Seller Risk: Realize that even if your letter is carefully crafted, if the seller makes a decision based on personal information in any letter (even inadvertently), they could be in violation. Your letter could put them at risk.

The safest approach for buyers is often to not write a personal letter at all and instead focus on presenting the strongest offer possible based on financial terms and objective conditions. If you do proceed, adhere strictly to the rules above.